I'm feeling pretty frustrated right now. My son just got suspended for the second time in just under a week. I'm over here reading articles about trauma in the classroom and therapeutic parenting and it's all increasing my empathy, but it's not making the situation any better for any of us. The Winemaker is flat-out pissed off. The school is running out of ideas. The kid is convinced he's just a bad person, so he might as well do bad stuff. His learning is suffering, our home life is suffering, and after missing four days in February for various PD sessions, I'm taking yet another day off tomorrow to try to schedule meetings with the school and with our counselor.
On the bright side, it will also give me some time to work on a birthday present I'm making for one of my oldest friends (40 years and counting). I'm embroidering a tea-towel with the words "Nevertheless, she persisted," and this symbol:
We shall persist through this as well, though the path may be dark and the future uncertain.
>We shall persist through this as well, though the path may be dark and the future uncertain. <
ReplyDeleteI love this last sentence. It's the voice of hope, small, hard to find, but still there. I've posted a lot of crabby, negative stuff, and the constant around here, people believe things will get better.
Slowly, surely, with much effort, blood, sweat and tears, you'll see change happening. That much I believe. And by your comments, you believe it too. :)
Wishing you peace and light at the end of your tunnel.
That's going to be an awesome tea towel! I'm sorry your son and your family are going through this. I hope you and the school team can come up with a plan of action that doesn't involve suspension but maybe starts to figure out what your son needs that he isn't getting. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThat’s going to be one badass tea towel. Sorry about the problems with your son. I hope you’re able to figure out what’s making him struggle.
ReplyDeleteAj @ Read All The Things!
Hang in there! You have an unbelievable amount of empathy, and I know that you will do what is right for your son. He is beyond lucky to have you and don't lose sight of that. It's hard to know how long the road is, but there will come a point when he will find his way!
ReplyDeleteAw, I am so sorry that things are so difficult with your son right now. But he is so, so lucky to have you in his corner. It says so much that you are willing to look at this from so many angles- a lot of parents would just yell and throw fits, but you are being super proactive and that is good! Big, big hugs. I will be thinking of you ♥
ReplyDeleteAnd that tea towel sounds AMAZING! I love it!!
So honest, I hope your son will somehow mend his perception of himself and the world every time you look at him.
ReplyDeleteThat's my wish for you. Please stay strong. :)
Have you read Heather Forbes's Help for Billy? Absolutely invaluable for helping schools and teachers develop better trauma-informed responses to children's fear-based behaviors. I am *really* pushy with . my son's school and teachers and constantly share the research about trauma, trauma-informed schools, the importance of connection over punitive consequences, etc. I am pretty sure the principal gets sick of my emails: "How is this punishment going to help him develop new neural pathways? How does it help him feel safe? How does it help him build emotional intelligence? Etc." I never mind when he gets suspended because we take it as a fun day off to connect and do stuff together. Feel free to get in touch if you need ideas for working with schools! I've got lots of experience!!
ReplyDeleteI own that book, but should pull it out for a re-read. As a teacher, it's so hard for me to let go of the expectation that he "behave" in school, or that getting suspended should NOT be a positive experience. But this time we did some fun things together, and then worked together on some chores, which is both another way to bond and a way for him to feel better about himself, by doing something concrete to repair the hurt he's made.
DeleteSo sorry that things have been tough for you. I know what it feels like to intellectually understand why something is happening and be empathetic, but still be buried by the stress of it all and want it to change NOW. Praying for better days ...
ReplyDeleteNicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction